somethingwittythiswaycomes:

therothwoman:

lizawithazed:

ten0uttaten:

toocooltobehipster:

Banned Grey Poupon ad is hilariously wrong [YouTube]

THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN

WHY WAS THIS BANNED THIS IS BRILLIANT

They saw their chance and they fuckin took it.

ohhhhh myyyyy goooodddd

(via because-rhysons)

nickyrads:

leander-ligo:

lordthundercox:

Yes, it does.

Guys get morning wood because our bladders fill up during the night and begin to press against our prostate, causing arousal. Our dicks don’t just feel the sun coming up and think “My time has come”

I’m dying

(via lukespoopface)

damittromney:

prreeeshus:

damittromney:

my-name-is-long:

damittromney:

next up on having a vagina: are these cramps or should i tell my mom to take me to the hospital

Yeah that happened to me in 2012 and it turns out I have 2 uteruses.

whAT THE FUCK

I just said OH MY GOD for like two minutes

i hope you had fun

(via lukespoopface)

itsbetterthananal:

im waiting for the day i can use this as a reaction image and confuse everyone for a good 5-30 seconds before they get it

image

(via ruinedchildhood)

sirenlovesong:

ariannagrandeofficial:

big-chicken:

cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat

this cat lives in a show horse barn which is why it walks and runs that way

THIS CAT THINKS ITS A HORSE

(via edgeoftheinternet)

cerulean-warbler:

johnskylar:

lisa-maxwell:

kyrafic:

"Never did like that much," is a baller and superb way to express your irritation with the way the patriarchy refuses to acknowledge how badass you are.

Word.

Before World War I, she shot a cigarette out of the mouth of the Kaiser of Germany at his request.

After the war started she sent him a letter asking for another chance, as she was afraid her aim might’ve been a little off.

Annie Fucking Oakley everyone

(via ohitsjustkim)

How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:

  • *Man walks into a store and finds employee*
  • Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
  • Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
  • Man: I never filled out an application.
  • Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
  • Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
  • Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
  • Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
  • Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
  • Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
  • Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
  • Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
  • Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
  • Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
  • Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
  • Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
  • Employee:
  • Man:
  • Employee:
  • Man: Fuck you, slut.
championcoolbreeze:

obfuscatingdeity:

the thing to realize here is that conservatives find the idea of paying workers a livable wage so absurd that they make hyperbolic comparisons like this
because fifteen dollars an hour and a hundred thousand dollars an hour both mean the same thing to them; more than you deserve

^That commentary is very important.
championcoolbreeze:

obfuscatingdeity:

the thing to realize here is that conservatives find the idea of paying workers a livable wage so absurd that they make hyperbolic comparisons like this
because fifteen dollars an hour and a hundred thousand dollars an hour both mean the same thing to them; more than you deserve

^That commentary is very important.
championcoolbreeze:

obfuscatingdeity:

the thing to realize here is that conservatives find the idea of paying workers a livable wage so absurd that they make hyperbolic comparisons like this
because fifteen dollars an hour and a hundred thousand dollars an hour both mean the same thing to them; more than you deserve

^That commentary is very important.

championcoolbreeze:

obfuscatingdeity:

the thing to realize here is that conservatives find the idea of paying workers a livable wage so absurd that they make hyperbolic comparisons like this

because fifteen dollars an hour and a hundred thousand dollars an hour both mean the same thing to them; more than you deserve

^That commentary is very important.

(via ohitsjustkim)

booyahboyo:

helyon:

stability:

philwrir:

officialfrenchtoast:

INTENSE

ITS BACK

I’m bringing this back from the depths of hell

gasps* earth tones!!

Holy Shit what even

(via edgeoftheinternet)

coolator:

the turkey swiss on rye incident coolator:

the turkey swiss on rye incident coolator:

the turkey swiss on rye incident coolator:

the turkey swiss on rye incident coolator:

the turkey swiss on rye incident coolator:

the turkey swiss on rye incident coolator:

the turkey swiss on rye incident coolator:

the turkey swiss on rye incident coolator:

the turkey swiss on rye incident

coolator:

the turkey swiss on rye incident

(via edgeoftheinternet)

sir-doge-swaggington:

evolutionofafitgeek:

liveasbravemen:

“I like clothes now. I have more energy. I sleep better. My sex drive is up. Blood’s flowing. I’m less susceptible to impulse. I’m in a different mode. When I was way out of shape, the idea of using whitening strips on my teeth seemed terrible. I have to do that every day? I’ll never do it. What you want is instant results when you’re out of shape. You want your teeth whitened in 45 minutes with the use of lasers. But when you’re in shape, you know it’s the result of doing a little bit every day. Moments aren’t just moments. A moment might be a week or a month. So instead of Boy, I’d love to eat this hamburger right now, I’m considering a little further into the future. I’m thinking, I eat that hamburger and that’s 1,200 calories, and I’m gonna work out tomorrow and lose 800 calories. I may as well eat a salad here, still do that workout, and then I’m actually making progress.” — Chris Pratt

This just motivated the fuck out of me.

Chris Pratt is my new god

sir-doge-swaggington:

evolutionofafitgeek:

liveasbravemen:

I like clothes now. I have more energy. I sleep better. My sex drive is up. Blood’s flowing. I’m less susceptible to impulse. I’m in a different mode. When I was way out of shape, the idea of using whitening strips on my teeth seemed terrible. I have to do that every day? I’ll never do it. What you want is instant results when you’re out of shape. You want your teeth whitened in 45 minutes with the use of lasers. But when you’re in shape, you know it’s the result of doing a little bit every day. Moments aren’t just moments. A moment might be a week or a month. So instead of Boy, I’d love to eat this hamburger right now, I’m considering a little further into the future. I’m thinking, I eat that hamburger and that’s 1,200 calories, and I’m gonna work out tomorrow and lose 800 calories. I may as well eat a salad here, still do that workout, and then I’m actually making progress.” — Chris Pratt

This just motivated the fuck out of me.

Chris Pratt is my new god

(via microfav)

penishole:

tobeymacguire:

when straight guys ask how lesbian sex works i feel really bad for their girlfriends because if you dont understand how to have sex with a girl in any way other than repeatedly putting your dick in her you are having some really bad sex

i want to reblog this 100 times but i’ll just do it once

(via lukespoopface)

mylifetimes5:

iamjohnegberttheheirofbreath:

Beck was a real friend

Beck was a great everything
mylifetimes5:

iamjohnegberttheheirofbreath:

Beck was a real friend

Beck was a great everything
mylifetimes5:

iamjohnegberttheheirofbreath:

Beck was a real friend

Beck was a great everything
mylifetimes5:

iamjohnegberttheheirofbreath:

Beck was a real friend

Beck was a great everything
mylifetimes5:

iamjohnegberttheheirofbreath:

Beck was a real friend

Beck was a great everything
mylifetimes5:

iamjohnegberttheheirofbreath:

Beck was a real friend

Beck was a great everything

mylifetimes5:

iamjohnegberttheheirofbreath:

Beck was a real friend

Beck was a great everything

(via lukespoopface)